alternatives

the issue of financing my tertiary education has not been resolved. now, there are rumours that bnm will change the terms of our scholarship and sponsor us to study locally. i have nothing against local universities its just that i personally feel that i need the environment of being surrounded by native speakers to improve my elocution skills. furthermore, whats the use of specialising in international law when i am a malaysian who graduated from malaysia. nothing international abt that ey.

so right now i'm thinking of alternatives in case i dont get to further my studies in either nottingham or monash.

alternative uno- become a poor struggling musician. luckily i bought rory (my acoustic guitar) a few years back. maybe if i polish my guitar skills and brush up my vocals, i might be able to make a breakthrough in the music industry. i'll just put my study on hold and work on my career until i have collected enough money to finance my education. but i have a feeling that this plan is not gonna work out. but hey, artists are either bloddy rich or bloody poor and i might settle for the latter.

alternative isnain- join a reality tv show and win some big bucks - i've been thinking abt this idea for quite some time now. i was even considering to audition for biggest looser asia but kak nadi said i would not even qualify. haih.

alternative 3- run away to some foreign country and start over. it would kill me to leave my family behind but it also hurts knowing that i have dissapointed them. i have my passport with me, i am no longer a minor. perhaps i should run away and start fresh and build up myself again and only come home when i have achieved something that i can be rpoud of. that would certainly make my parents proud. this machiavellian approach might seem extreme but hey the end justifies the means.

alternative 4- pinjam dulu mom & dad's retirement fund. i hate this idea but i dont oppose it 100%. this would be my last resort. if i decide to go to either monash or notts, it would cost mom n dad approx 450k. although they might have the money but its not fair for me to use up their savings esp now given that they have retired.

so, what can i do? i guess all i can do is pray and believe in Allah. He knows whats best and He would not have tested me in the first place without knowing i can handle this. I know that this experince will make me a stronger person, insyaAllah.