review- when did you last see your father.

being a future film maker, tiger's external is the best source of great movies. i have to admit that the latest movie yang i curi from tiger is the best, to date. its not an action movie, not a hollywood production either. it a british movie entitled when did you last see your father.

if this movie was a book, i would have cried reading it. it is extremely awesome. the director is brilliant.

setting-the viewers can tell that the movie is set during the 60's and 70's from the costumes and such without the director including one of those weird writings of 1962 or anything like that. most importantly, with the main character ( i think his name was blake) constantly listening to updates of the cuban missile crisis on the radio, viewers would know that it was 1962. most importantly, the world was on the brink of getting involved in a nuclear war, hence,it explains the atmosphere of darkness and uncertainty which constantly surrounds the characters.

cinematography- i noticed that the director used a lot of mirrors duringt important scene. and i think he/she also used a 50mm ( i think that is what it's called) lense to enhance the focus to direct the viewers. he/she is a genious. esp the miror effect. although viewers are constantly informed abt the main character's opinion on the events in the movie, the mirros allows viewers to feel like they are also observing the event and this encourages the viewers to come up with their own analysis of it.

the plotting- its the standard exposition, climax and anti climax but without a resolution. viewers are not informed if the main character's questions are answered in the end.

oh, btw, its a story abt the relationship between a father and his son. which makes it even more special. sorry mom, but i think a mother's love is overrated!!! i mean, i think both parents are able to love their children equally.

so yes. do watch this movie.

dreams~

once upon a time, hafiedz told me that in order to achieve my dreams, i have to actually picture myself achieving it. okay, that is obviously not hafiedz's exact words but i hope i've made my point.

anyhow, since i've been excessively panicking lately, i thought i should take a few moments and put my thoughts into writing to help me visualise the future me achieving my dreams.

i can see myself

1. in my room, reading my history notes, memorising quotes from shakespeare's king lear and memorising economic theories.

2. praying on time and performing solat dhuha and solat hajat on a daily basis.

3.diligently writing at least an essay each for literature and history every week until the exams are over.

4.entering the exam hall, confident that i can answer the questions. bring it on examiners!!

5.scoring 3 A's and puase for a week before i leave for UK.

6.with my closest friends and family during my kenduri doa selamat and kesyukuran, thanking Allah for blessing me and pray that i will stay on track.

7. entering the en-suite room which i will share with my dearest mimiko in nottingham.

8. celebrating raya 2009 with my new circle of friends in the uk. if i'm lucky i get to celebrate with abang.

okay, i should stop here. but these are events which i really wish would happen for the next few months.

amin~

all because of an slr

ever since i laid my hands on daddy's d 300 some time ago, i fell in love with it. i know i have not fully understood the language of slr (all i do is adjust the iso and the focus range anyway), but i know its something i would like to do, and learn. i've been begging daddy for an slr for quite some time now. last week during daddy's birthday, kak millie and i argued abt it. this is a erm summary of our argument.

daddy is getting a d3X for himself. according to the review, nikon claims that it is their best camera to date.

daddy is going to hand down his d300 to millie.

millie has to give her d200 to me.

or daddy will sell off the d200 and get 3 d90's for abang, nadi and i.

daddy also plans to split up the lenses to all 4 of us. everyone will get an equal share.

issue(s)

1. milie thinks that i dont deserve an slr especially her d200 or even a d90 because she thinks i dont have any talent and that even her friends in college is only using a d40.

my rebuttal- i can learn, i believe i have the patience and that i am a fast learner. and besides, ur first slr was a d100. why didn't u use a d40?

her reply- nope you're not. you've played the guitar for over a year and the sound is deafening.

2. millie claims that her d200 is her bread and butter. her life.

my rebuttal- you had no objections when daddy decided to give ur d100 to hanif and gave u his d200 when he bought a d300. what is so different abt this time??

3. millie also claims that photography is her thing. she did not gedik2 nak beli guitar when nadi, abang and i sibuk2 nak main.

my rebuttal-I am not trying to earn a living through photograhy. besides, the main reason i bought rory is not because abang and kak nadi bought a guitar. i've always wanted to learn how to play and i needed something to distract myself from the break up. besides, i bought it with my own money.
u did something similar when u broke up with steve. you picked up a new hobby too. only that my new hobby creates noise pollution and yours increases the chances of getting cancer.

i'm done. i decided not to tell mom and dad. its hard enough growing up with dad always not acknowleding my presence and achievements. isn't it good enough that he is not paying for my education and because of that u can do ur curtin degree.

i did not tell my parents about this. i dont see the point. if i tell them, i know that daddy would change his mind. i will not let ur issues stand in my way of getting an slr. if daddy thinks that i deserve an slr, then i shal get one.

the VIRGIN guitarist~

something happened last week which was in a way a rite of passage for me. i performed, live, on stage for the first time!!! too bad i left rory at home but bob's guitars are fab!!

it was such an honour to perform with such talented people. we performed 4 songs. starting with kau ilhamku and teardrops on my guitar and folowed by always be my baby and hot n cold.

fatin (drums) is an accomplished musician. she plays the piano, guitars and drums and she has performed several times in college.

nea reima mariana (bass) got an A1 for music at SPM level. enough said. although she had some probs with the amp that night, she still rocks!!

jeannie (vocals) is our diva!!!! she sounds like an angel when she sings :)

fiera (vocals) suprised us that night. she was a natural on stage.

aak (keyboard) sadly tak dapat main that night cuz she went out. but we had fun jamming.

performing with the band was an eye opener for me. i always thought that i suck when it comes to team-work and coperation. i mean, in debating i wld get pissed off if one of my team mates screwed up. plus we were not only compeating against the opposition but also among ourselves to get the best speaker title.

in a band, everyone is equally important. if i screw up a chord, i have atin n nea to back me up. if the vocalist termasuk bridge terlalu awal, we just play along. there was no pressure at all.

and the best part is.i nyanyi tak sedap pun, ppl layan je. haha

it was a splendid symphony

p/s: thanks to nea n atin for ajaking me to join the band. to bob for lending me his guitars (sory the tali terputus), to zaim for tuning bob's guitars for me. to jeshua, my guitar guru. to jeannie for believing in me. to bank negara for 'paying' for my guitar. sha n juls for recording the performances and to everyone else who came that night.

daddy turns.... erm...

happy birthday daddy!!!

erm, i feel bad that i dont know how old you are. i'm guessing that you are 57 this year. maybe older or younger.

anyway, enjoy your retirement :)

i love you :)

p/s: if ur planning on getting ur self a new dslr or a macro lens, i dont mind inheriting ur old one, esp ur d-300 ;)

sweet dreams?

last night i had a really weird dream. there was definitely nothing sweet abt it. i woke up feeling tired and confused which made me think, when was the last time i experienced a sweet dream?

well, i can only recall one dream of mine which at that time i thought it was sweet. i dreamt abt aidil and me at the beach with a little girl which we called Suri. given that aidil and i are no longer together, so i guess the dream is not sweet anymore.

anyhow, it made me wonder abt the function of dreams. i mean what is the point of dreaming abt something but most of the time, they never come true. for example, i dreamt of going to kcl, of actively being involved in debate in college and many other things but none of them came true.

a few weeks ago, i reached a really low pont in my life where i fet like giving up. judging from my performance during the trial exam, i am definitely not ready to sit for my a-level exams. plus the thought of not going to king's further dragged me down.

but that was a few weeks ago. i feel much better now. it was not a sweet dream that helped me to bounce back. its reality.

attending nottingham's law school thingy last week was a really meaningful experience. how the allumni's described their life in nottingham makes me really feel like nottingham is the place for me. also, knowing that i will have mim by my side really lifted up my spirits!!!! now, i really feel that i have something to look forward to.

so yeah.

i know i'm crapping away. haha

ape2 je lah.

current tune: when u are near- carolina liar :)