best xmas present!!!!!

for xmas, i received

1. an 8 gig ipod touch from moi.. haha. i named her ruby

2. a pearl necklace from aak. thanks dear, its so lovely!!

3. a lighter from mim. thanks mimi!!! just what i needed :)

4. and the best give ever from abang jat!! a 19 inch monitor!!!! finally i can update my notes or type essays without squinting my eyes!!!

merry xmas people!! and happy new year

irony, paradox, juxtaposition, or simply sellfish??

its xmas eve and most of the people i care most about are in London :(

and i am not going to complain why i am not there with them because i choose to not go.

but am i making the most of it.

i have not finished a single essay.

i have not been studying but i have been day dreaming and watching tv series.

NAZURAH!!!! what the hell are you doing????????????

i want him to play at my wedding!!!!!

discovered this vid while looking a 'how to play canon on the guitar tutorial' and this lil boy is AMAZING.

just follow the link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WirEJbA14xA

my guitar gently weeps

i am back from Prague, in one piece, Alhamdulillah :)

called mother yesterday to catch up on whats happening at home and i realised that i have not been in touch with my family for quite some time now.

feeling homesick, i wanted to print a family photo to put in this awesome frame i bought from prague. tapi.... i could not find one :( ade satu je, and that was taken back in 1992.

disappointed, i printed out pictures of my sibs instead and made a collage using the pics.

i miss my family :'( and the person i miss most is my mommy....

i used to call or text her everyday mase kat ssp and during plkn.

masuk ky, it was reduced to twice a week..

sampai nottingham.. i call her like once a month!!!

and yesterday mommy pesan two things.

1. cukup2 lah ambil gambar gune slr tu

2. delete gambar yang ade nazu main guitar kat facebook, nanti ayah nampak die marah.

and when was the last time i played the guitar?? i think it was 3 weeks ago.

and this is the vid.

the end

first European adventure

destination : Prague, the capital of Czech Republic :)

first time i heard about the country: PPM 2004, it took Faisal 5 mins and several phone calls before I can properly pronounce "Czechoslovakia" ( he helped me with some research on the Chernobyl tragedy)

farewell Nottingham---- Hello Eastern Europe :)

p/s: if i dont update my blog or facebook status by saturday (19/12), please contact the embassy or something. after watching the film 'Taken' (awesome movie btw), Eastern Europe gives me the creeps. nevertheless, its history fascinates me :)

illegal downloading = haram???

this is an issue which I've thought abt a couple of months ago, while doing some research while preparing for LNAT. (for those of you who dont know, LNAT = Law National Admissions Test)

when we illegally download music/videos/or any files, are we committing a sin???

i mean, think abt it. the singer earns a living by making music. when we illegally download it, they dont reap any benefit from it.

well, it can be argued that the act of listening to songs can be classified as sinful. but lets assume that it is not, than are we committing a sin by not rewarding someone for his or her... erm... service.

well, lets put religion aside and argue it from an economic point of view. illegal downloading = inefficient allocation of resources. i mean, it must distort the circular flow of income.. somehow. because there can only be a balance if the singer's cost (i.e making the music, renting a studio etc) is covered and this can only be done through a legal transaction.

with this in mind,i purchased She & Him's volume one from itunes.

and its worth every single penny :)

p/s: my fav track from this album is you really got a hold on me :)

mimiko, if ur reading this, check out the song ya :)

brotherly love

if you have read my previous post, i think you will get a hint that i was felling low.

so low that i cried in the middle of a shopping complex.. omg, it was embarrassing!!!!

but as the day progresses, it got better.

mainly because abang jat called!!!! and also because i ate a tub of ben n jerry ;)

thanks abang for always believing in me :)

p/s: thanks to att and dida for listening to me membebel pasal what happened. love u both :)

dear daddy

dear daddy,

i have your hair but i dont have your brains

i have your eyes, but we are never on the same page

i have your spirit and confidence

but only to use it against you

i know i always defy you

i know i am the only child who choose a path which you dont really approve

but does that justify why you dont believe in me

why you constantly question my actions

why i am never good enough for you??

would it have been different if i choose to study medicine?

or perhaps dentistry or photography

or if i followed you wishes and abandoned debate in high school

i guess the answer is yes~

i guess it would~

anak derhaka??

I have now been in the UK for over two months and believe it or not,I have not fully settled down. Initially, I had this theory that it was because i defied my parents but the recent events are starting to show the opposite.

bank account

when i went to the pre departure briefing in kl, Fiqry, Sue and all the other seniors told me that they have a bank account with llyods. so i intend to follow them given that llyods are among the few banks which offer an Islamic account. but MOM was against it.

mom: bukak la HSBC. mak gune HSBC, abang jat gune HSBC. senang kalau ade ape2.

to cut the story short, i did attempt to open an accnt with llyods but i faced some difficulties. so, tak jadi. from this incident and a few other events, i deduced that it was best to follow my parents advice

TAPI, now that i have an accnt with HSBC, pun tak okay gak. i still have not received my pin number. susah la, nak withdraw money je, kene gi town. dah banyak kali ger complaint. but masih tak sampai. hadoi. perhaps malam ni kene buat solat hajat.

free calls

dad: when u get there, get an iphone. that way u can skype with ur mother anytime, anywhere because i am planning to get one for myself.

i wanted to go against my dad and get a diff phone but using the anak derhaka theory, tak jadi. i spoke to so many people abt the iphone. registered my interest with orange and vodaphone. cursed orange when they gave similar tariffs although o2's monopoly had been broken. looking forward for xmas offers. and finally, i manage to convince myself to get it

BUT

HSBC is a clear evidence that the anak derhaka theory is probably not true

PLUS

there are so many signs that Allah might not want me to get an iphone after all.

1. dida lost her iphone- i'll pray that she finds it soon. it has been 3 days and still no news

2. i read from ammar's blog that his iphone rosak

3. the phone even under a contract is OVERPRICED

4. dad tak beli iphone pun!!!!!!!!!

so, no iphone for me. at least in the near future. i'm getting an ipod touch instead. i need a new ipod anyways. there is nothing wrong with my nano but its well, old. but it looks so lovely with its new skin (thanks kak nadi, its the most awesome farewell gift). but my cable dah hampir putus.. bla bla bla.. so yeah, time for a new ipod!!!!!

as for the anak derhaka theory, i have no idea if it is valid. i texted mom just now to complaint abt hsbc, and she did not reply.

i feel neglected

mom has not called me for like two weeks already..

she did not wish me on raya..

the final conversation we had lasted for like 30 seconds..

she did not even tell me that she is going to bandung to visit kak nadi .. and did i mention that this is her third visit..

oh well, i'll end this post with pics of my nano. starting tmrw, she will have a new sister!!!!

worry not my nano, i will never neglect you.

c u a k

pertama kali saya bermain guitar di atas pentas, saya amat bertuah kerane:

a) penontonnya semua wanita- maka perasaan malu2 tak ade

b) saye ade pemain base dan drum yang handal bersame saye- jika terlupa chord, tak ape, base nea akan take over, jika tersilap chord, saye cume toleh kebelakang dan atin akan tetap senyum dan gelak bersama- bile nak set amplifier, nea akan membimbing saye.

TAPI

minggu hadapan jika saya membuat persembahan, saye tak ade nea dan atin :(

even worse, saye rase amplifier pun tak ade.

lagu belum hafal, chords pun same

wajarkan saye memalukan diri sendiri??

kite tunggu dan lihat

-----------------------------------------

crap, my first post in bm. odd kan?? lol

how cute

me: x, jom tgk paranormal activity!!!!!! s & k tak nak

x: erk.

nazu

sebenarnye i tak tgk cetire seram

nanti tak leh tido malam.

its so cute when a guy mengaku he is afraid of something

for obvious reasons, person x's identity will not be exposed.

eid 2009

and this is how i spent my raya.

8.00 am- i stated my day cursing - sh**, i'm late = no solat raya

9.15am- rushed to the bus stop wanting to catch the 9.30 bus. sadly, i missed the bus by one min

10.00am- entered the lecture hall right on time :D

10.50m- Professor Todd performed his Carlill v Carbolic Smokeball Company song. haha. it was entertaining. i know he is currently practicing his vocals for yet another song to conclude his Tort lectures.

11.00am- Atiqah treated me with nasi himpit and kuah kacang. :D

1.00pm- reached home. still no letter from HSBC

2.00pm- went to HSBC for the THIRD time to complain abt my pin number. I OFFICIALLY HATE HSBC!!!!!!!!!

3.00pm- got a phone call from dad- no wishing me selamat hari raya or anything

dad: nazu, your mother wants to speak to you

me: okay daddy

*pause*

me: daddy, arnt you going to pass the phone to mom?

daddy: why haven't you settle down nazu? you have been there for almost two months now.

me: i dont know, blame HSBC

dad: okay, now talk to your mother

mom: hey teddy bear, nope i've checked, no letter from HSBC for you.

me: okay, thanks mom

mom: okay, take care. bye

and they did not even wish me selamat hari raya. abang pun, i text him but he did not reply. same with my sisters.

but i had fun with my other family. had dinner with the raleigh klan. kamal made nasi lemak, sha made sambal. i boiled some eggs and cooked rendang, Brahim's style. yum yum.

to those yang their family members forgot to wish u on eid, just remember that you are not alone.

LONDON!!!!!

my trip to london last weekend was ORGASMIC!!!!!!!

the sight seeing was awesome!! the shopping was okay ( bought this black dress from H&M and I LOVE it!!!!), but what i enjoyed most was hanging out with a bunch of friends from KYUEM!!!

i am definitely going again.

in fact, i have bought my tickets.

CRAP! which reminds me i have to get my coursework out of the way.

leaving for prague in 3 weeks time and then i'll spend one week in LONDON!! with mimiko, kamilku,shadidadidu and att.

CANT WAIT :D

feminist in the making?

in the past, i've come across several ppl who told me that I am a feminist. and there were times when i act believed them but there are times when i did not. there are several reasons for this but mainly its because i am not sure what feminism actually means.

feminist and bras

so, i attended my first feminist workshop hoping that I will get some clarification on the definition of feminism. I also contemplated on what i should wear because i remember discussing the image of a feminist with Ms Linda while studying cat's eye (its a novel btw). the author described a feminist as someone who will not wear a bra and shave their legs or armpits (the latter seems unhygienic kan?). i clearly wont leave the house without wearing a bra. lol. but takut jugak la if i offend the organisers. thank God, when i arrived at the venue, everyone there was wearing a bra. :D except for the male participants la.

feminist and the media

i have this habit of doing some research before attending a workshop so that i can participate in the discussions. so, before i went, i thought the bulk of the discussion on this topic wld be on the exploitation of women.OH I WAS WRONG. try out this test and you will see why.

the Bechdel test

think of a movie or tv series and answer the following questions.

1. does it have more than one woman in it?

2. do they talk to each other?

3. about something that isn't a man.

let me know if u guys can think of any movies which passes this test. cuz i cldnt. Tiger, if reading this,you shld give it a go.

feminist and the law

as of today, we've only had one female judge in the supreme court,Baroness Hale. and i salut her. she is a WOMAN in power. as in she maintains her feminine side. not in the I fight for women and shall be bias in my judgement kinda way. she maintains her erm 'keperempuanan'. hmm, if u dont get what i'm trying to say, just compare her to Margaret Thatcher.

am i a feminist?

i dont know. before the workshop, my definition of a feminist is a women who fights for women's rights. i know its vague but i had this view that that person is not fighting for equality i.e equal pay and equal opportunities but they want the world to realise that woman are better than man.

its not like we dont have any evidence to support it. the most recent one is Iceland where a female PM was elected and she imposed a quota for female in the cabiner etc etc (think of her as the opposite of Thatcher) and it did wonders to that country.

but at the workshop, the feminists i met are not that hmm extreme? they are whom i wld call equalist. they want equal pay, paternity leave shld be the same length as maternity leave etc.

in hindsight, i think both are feminist. the former can be labelled as erm extreme? like, maybe the former is asking society to move two steps ahead whereas the latter is just asking for society to move one step ahead. as in they are being more realistic.

so i guess that makes me a feminist.

hmm..

owh, going to london this weekend. coincidentally, there will be a all woman's march under the theme 'we demand the right to reclaim the night'. its mainly for rape victims. the idea behind it is that we want to be able to walk the streets without having the fear of being raped etc.

will i join them or will i cheer from the sides?

i dont know. i'll see how it goes.

ode to Ayu :D

I've considered deleting my blog account several times because i seriously think i dont write anything worth reading and if anyone actually reads my blog.

but Ayu made me realise that there are some friends who care and who wants to keep updated on what is happening in your life. just because they dont write on ur facebook wall or leave a comment on ur blog post, does not mean they are no longer interested in ur life. Ayu, thanks for making me realise that. :D

Ayu also made me realise that my pass few posts lacks of structure. mainly because my mind mase tu tgh serabut. so the purpose of this post is to summarise all the previous 'messy' post and i'll also include my updates.

life in nottingham.

i'm currently staying in Raleigh Park. I am very fortunate to share a house with shadidadidu a.k.a sha deen, and 3 minah salleh and one iranian. this house reminds me a lot of my home. red bricks,huge windows, 3 storey. macam mane tak homesick. lol

life as a law student

i am glad law has nothing to do with the two subjects i hate most in this world i.e math and chemistry. but that does not mean i love it. to those yang fikir law students are oh so free and their course senang, YOU ARE SO WRONG. or maybe its just me. entah la.

scholarship or pa ma??

neither. i am currently under a convertible loan from bank negara. which means if i get good results, BNM will convert it into a scholarship but if i dont,well lets just say mom n dad are gonna be super pissed and they will not pay for my wedding (if there will ever be one la). to encourage me to study harder, dad keeps reminding me abt my dream car, a mini cooper s. he promised that he will pay for the down payment is i get a first class degree. and mom said she will sponsor my bar, also provided if i do well. well, what can i say. i have awesome parents. :D

current interests

i have not joined any clubs yet in notts. i dont think i'll cont debating or start mooting. just had my first moot a few days ago and i realise that i prefer becoming a judge. but i dont see how i can get to that position working for bnm. plus, seems impossible in todays world. guess how many female judges we have in the supreme court. and the answer will be provided in my next post.

owh, i have a new guitar!!! its a pink electro acoustic. since my two other guitars have names starting with the alphabet R, i've decided to keep that tradition. so i named her Rose:). believe it or not, susah gler nak cari name for her. i even googled ' baby names R'. lol

so okay. i'll end this post by posting a pic of rose and my bed and some of my soft toys.

cheers~

p/s: ayu, i hope ur satisfied :D

fire flowers

this one reminds me of an erupting volcano. i LOVE the colour, its so RED :D

and we call it bunga api :D

heyya, i know i'm suppose to have a flicker accnt for this but i am no pro in the photography world. so post kat sini je la.

adam, kamal, sha, neo and myself went to our first bon fire festival!! there was an awesome firework display and i manage to snap some pics. it was my first attempt to take pics of fireworks using my dslr. to my naked eye, the pics seems okay. to my friends yang hebat ambil gambar, i wld appreciate if u can leave some comments.

enjoy the pics :)

p/s: its like terbalik. so korang kene tgk dari bawah sampai atas. sorry bout that. and and, i'll post another sequal after this.

cheers~

rest in peace my dearest atok :D

yellow!! this is my first time blogging from my new room in the robin hood city!!! malas la nak blog abt my life here since i constantly post new pics and update my status on facebook anyhow.

but, i think this is a thought worth writing abt since i feel that it is important that i share it with others. this post is dedicated to two important man in my life. my maternal grandfather and my big brother.

My atok, Hj Borhanudin Simin, passed away peacefully last Monday. I received a call from Kak Millie while I was in the bus, on my way to campus. I cannot describe how i felt. maybe its because i met him the same day i was leaving for nottingham. there he was, on the bed. he was in pain, i could tell that from his facial expression, from the way he constantly frowned and i remember him asking for cigarettes. instead of going to the shop and getting a pack for him, i just laughed.

I remember when i was little, atok will always bring me around the kampung on his bike and that was the best part abt balik kampung. he will always teach me weird minang words like aqua and santiang and tell me stories abt his days serving in the army. his hobby? finding weird traditional remedies for the pain on his knee and ankle which always bothers him.

and the best thing abt atok is that he never refers to me as his cucu with big bushy curly hair. everyone else addresses me as 'anak timah yang rambut kerinting' but atok calls me 'anak timah yang bongsu' :D and that is what i love most abt him.

i guess i have not shed a tear since hearing the news because i'm glad i made an effort to meet him right before i left. after that epiphany hit me, i decided to go to cardiff this weekend and attend abang jat's open house. u never know when is the last time you meet a family member. i'm not praying for abang to fall ill or anything. but i dont know when death will invite me as well. i wish to leave this world with no regrets.

rest in peace my dearest atok~

to all my muslim friends, please spare a min and say a prayer for him. *Al-fatihah*

The

finally~

got my visa

got my ticket

bye Malaysia

HELLO NOTTINGHAM..

tears oh tears

www.vfs-uk-my.com = your visa application is still being processed at the Malaysian British High Comission

e-mail from the school of law = Dear Ms Mohd Aziz, a penalty will be imposed if u register later than 2 0ct.

www.malaysianairlines.com= the next available flight is after the 1st of Oct

bnm's travel agent called and asked

kak yati: visa dah ade dik?

me: tak, MUNGKIN esok baru tau.

kak yati: oh, so tak jadi la flight satu haribulan ni?

me: kalau dapat visa esok, tak leh fly hari khamis ke kak??

kak yati: hmmmmmm.... *long pause*

me: tak ape la akak, esok saye call

:'(

Dear Allah, please3 help me. I really hope that my visa will be approved, soon. Amin.

the butterfly effect

approx 58 years ago, cik and tok ayah decided to name daddy mohd aziz. following the tradition of orang dulu2 of having two names in case something goes wrong with the baby, they decided to call him 'seh'.so an @ assif was added and the end of daddy's name.

several years later, mr mohd aziz @ assif, now, a fresh graduate from monash was roaming around university malaya. it was there that he met fatimah borhanudin. a tall slim malay girl and they fell in love.

after several years of marriage, they were blessed with four children, all of whom carried the name mohd aziz @ assif.. all but one. somehow, the youngest child, nazurah a.k.a me does not have an @ in her passport but she has the @ is her birth cert and identity card.

this problem was never noticed by mr aziz @ assif and his wife until their youngest child was in the process of applying for a visa to study in the UK. with the difference in names on nazurah's identity card and passport, her visa got rejected.

and once her visa got rejected, she now has to miss at the very least, 2 weeks of classes at the University of Nottingham in the United Kingdom.

speedy post!!

1. the tug-of-war with Bank Negara is finally over. Alhamdulillah, the verdict is in my favour. So i guess my plan of running away or becoming a musician etc tak jadi. lol

2. i've finally visited azu. went with fiqss last saturday. azu was the first one who told me abt applying for a loan from bank negara and fiqss is the first individual who suggested that i apply for a scholarship after our spm results were out :). and for that, i thank you both :). and azu is recovering at the speed of a lightning. he played the guitar when i came to visit and he still remembers our deal. he is truely AMAZUING :). (i hope i got that right )

3.i've started visiting some relatives and friends.to those yang nazu tak sempat visit, i'm truely sorry. i really want to leave this friday and a lot has to be done. i might come back next year and if i do, i'll meet up with you guys yea.

tu je for now.

current tune: vegas skies- the cab *lagu ni sangat best* ;)

alternatives

the issue of financing my tertiary education has not been resolved. now, there are rumours that bnm will change the terms of our scholarship and sponsor us to study locally. i have nothing against local universities its just that i personally feel that i need the environment of being surrounded by native speakers to improve my elocution skills. furthermore, whats the use of specialising in international law when i am a malaysian who graduated from malaysia. nothing international abt that ey.

so right now i'm thinking of alternatives in case i dont get to further my studies in either nottingham or monash.

alternative uno- become a poor struggling musician. luckily i bought rory (my acoustic guitar) a few years back. maybe if i polish my guitar skills and brush up my vocals, i might be able to make a breakthrough in the music industry. i'll just put my study on hold and work on my career until i have collected enough money to finance my education. but i have a feeling that this plan is not gonna work out. but hey, artists are either bloddy rich or bloody poor and i might settle for the latter.

alternative isnain- join a reality tv show and win some big bucks - i've been thinking abt this idea for quite some time now. i was even considering to audition for biggest looser asia but kak nadi said i would not even qualify. haih.

alternative 3- run away to some foreign country and start over. it would kill me to leave my family behind but it also hurts knowing that i have dissapointed them. i have my passport with me, i am no longer a minor. perhaps i should run away and start fresh and build up myself again and only come home when i have achieved something that i can be rpoud of. that would certainly make my parents proud. this machiavellian approach might seem extreme but hey the end justifies the means.

alternative 4- pinjam dulu mom & dad's retirement fund. i hate this idea but i dont oppose it 100%. this would be my last resort. if i decide to go to either monash or notts, it would cost mom n dad approx 450k. although they might have the money but its not fair for me to use up their savings esp now given that they have retired.

so, what can i do? i guess all i can do is pray and believe in Allah. He knows whats best and He would not have tested me in the first place without knowing i can handle this. I know that this experince will make me a stronger person, insyaAllah.

I desperately want to move on!!!

two offers,Notts and Monash.

two possible finacial supporters, BNM and mom & dad.

but in order for me to move on, i need to know one party's decision.. and that is BNM.

i know i've been optimistic these pass few weeks. i am trying my best to remain strong and do everything i can to fix this situation. but at this point, my spirit is disintegrating.

i can write a whole essay abt how i'm felling right now but malas.

haih~

GRADS card- the cheap way to get extra baggage allowance

dear friends, are you planning to travel by MAS?

are you worried that your luggage is heavier than 20kg?

if your answer is YES, than i have a cheap and simple solution for your problem.

Just apply for a GRADS card.

what is a GRADS card?

it is basically a student card. if you become a member, you will get several benefits which you can check out for yourself on their website. however, they did not state that members will be entitled an extra 10kg baggage allowance there but since our seniors cakap, tak kan lah diorang nak tipu kite sempene bulan puase yang mulie ni.

what do I have to do?

simply dl the form or you can just go to the office and get the form there.

what do i have to bring?

1. a copy of ur ic or passport.

2. 2 passport size pics

3. a copy of ur offer letter

4. rm25 in cash or bank draft or cheque. ( bawa duit cukup, bukannye mahal pun)

where is the office located?

aha! this is super important. they are currently located at jalan sultan ismail but as of tmrw (09/09/09), they are relocating at kl central. if u wish to go today, u can take the monorail and stop at the bukit nanas station. the office is just 3 buildings away. its a brown building, slightly slanting to the front. ade tulis kementrian something2 kat depan. the office is on the first floor.

oh no, does this mean if i dont go today i will not be able to get my GRADS card?

no silly. the new office is situated at KL central which is easily accessible by lrt, ktm or bus. they will resume business on 14/09/09. the new office is located at the ground floow, next to maybank.

if i plan to 'fly' on the 14th, masih sempat ke nak buat GRADS card?

the answer is YES! this is because you will get ur card on the spot! the whole process takes approximately 10 mins.

so now with the extra 10kg, u can bring more brahims, rice cooker and curry powder or even more clothes and most importantly, more kuih raya :(.

good luck!

cheers~

abang kate...

abang kate, kalau pergi uk die untung sebab ade tukang masak.

abang kate, kalau pergi aussie pun die untung sbb die dapat free accomodation when he comes to visit.

tapi Nottingham kate, they are giving me a second chance. Alhamdulillah, I've received the long awaited news from them today.

Nottingham, here i come!!!!!

EVERYONE, thanks for your prayers and support. Mom & dad, i promise that i will never ever let you down, ever again. Abang Jat, I guess we will celebrate raya together this year :)

now the only prob is money. bank negara, please please please approve the loan.

hmm..

-the end-

almost perfect

following the theme of hope which surrounds me right now, i think its time to blog abt something positive.

so i met this guy during btn. this is how i would grade him.

first impression- 5/10. sbb i thought that he was kinda kerek judging from the way he slouches when he sits and he has this expression like he does not care abt the world.

looks - 7/10. he is not as hot as michael steger or sondre lerche but for a malay ( i dont mean to be racist here) his looks are not bad la. sedap mate memandang. tapi his hair style mmg reminds me of michael steger (navid shirazi in 90210). i guess that makes him attractive in my eyes.

personality - 7/10. as mentioned earlier, i thought mamat ni jenis yang agak kerek. turns out that he is the opposite of that. and he is so knowledgeable. he admires sheikh ibnu athoi'llah ( i have no idea who that is) and like most guys, he likes fast cars. and its not like he likes em because everyone else does but he knows a lot abt cars. best of all, i like the way he shares his knowledge. one wld not feel like this person tgh berlagak but one wld sense his sincerity in wanting to share the information. in short, walaupun mulut manis, he is not one of those ass kissers or womanisers.

IQ - 11/10. this dude is extremely smart weiyh!! he layak dapat best in the world for math for the CIE exams but due to some technical problems, he did not. nevertheless, i like the fact that his knowledge is not limited to academic only but he is also up to date with current issues. well, that is no suprise since he was a debater. i wonder why i did not notice him during my debating years in highschool. hmm...

but sadly, he is taken......

nevertheless, I am glad to have met him. Its good to know that there are still good men roaming the earth but as usual, they are taken.

so, his name is Hanis. i wish him all the best and hope that he will continue to excell in UCL :)

tolong saya bantu saya

I've contacted notts. they will consider my case and inform me their decision soon.

as for bank, kak ros called and they are aware of my results.

i really hope i can still maintain my spot in notts and obtain a loan from bank.

amin

a major hiccup

my A-level results are out.

and it aint good. dapat AAC.

min requirement for bank negara is AAB.

same with conditional offer from notts, pun AAB.

my next destination is still unknown.

i dah appeal to notts for a place this coming semester.

bank pun dah tau my results. kak ros cakap she is still collecting the data so she cannot tell me where i stand.

my plan is to appeal for a place at notts and hopefully maintain financial support from bnm. even if they want to change it to loan, i'll agree to that.

i really hope everything goes well.

stop & stare

earlier today, I witnessed an ACCIDENT!!!

although this is not my first time seeing a car crash in front of my very eyes, i have no idea why this time it was extra creepy. so much so that i was shivering and my body felt really cold. this is what happened.

i was cruzing along the kl-seremban highway with daddy and my sis nadi. we were on our way to my paternal grandmother's new crib in bangi. (yes ppl, no more kelantan trips). it was a normal day, nothing different. and suddenly the car in front of me stopped. and then kak nadi and i saw a car spinnning 360 degress and after that there was smoke in the air. it is part of the malaysian culture to stop our vehicles and stare when there is an accident. many did. but i left the scene.

that is when it hit me that it is also part of our culture to not help accident victims. i mean, we stop and stare but i wonder, among the onlookers, how many actually dial 999 and called for help. there we 3 of us in my car and none of us did. i dont know if anybody actually stopped to help.

hmm. just a thought.

oh, this is my first post from my new lappy. well act, it is not brand new. its a hand me down from daddy. he bought this lappy for his china trip. but i have no objections. the screen is kinda small but the sound system is good. and the batt lasts for 6 hrs yo. that is 3 times longer than my old acer. oh, act i do have one objection. i cannot play sims3 on this mini machine. damn. tak ade graphics card. :(. bummer.

i'm leaving for BTN tmrw, till friday.

A-level results will be out on monday. NOOOO!!! i really hope i do not dissapoint anyone, especially myself.

I hope everything goes as planned. Amin :)

to do list~

1. read my law books

2. mingle with my canon 500D

3.learn more songs on my guitar

4. perform solat hajat more often

5.learn to cook more meals

6.watch as many movies as i can

*list ini bakal bertambah dan/atau berubah*

roxanne

people, meet roxanne :)

The reason why I am now officially bankrupt, but she is totally worth every single ringgit spent

She is the reason why i am now a permanent resident of the tv room :)nak main puas2 before abang and kak nadi comes back.

My fingers will only be lifted from roxanne's sacred buttons if it involves the following VIPs

I have to meet

Very Important People or Peers

I have to go to

Very Important Places such as the bathroom and the many fast food restaurants kat belakang rumah ;)

or make a

Very Important Phone call

or play a

Very Important Piece on rory.

and if I become a

Very Important Patient as I think I have fractured my bones. sakit gler dah tangan.

and if i feel like surfing

Very Important Pppwwweebsites (can't fine a synonym for websites which starts with the letter P) haha

so yeah.

cheers~

Coldplay~

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to 20 people you like and include me. Try not to repeat a song title. It's a lot harder than you think.

Pick Your Artist:
Coldplay

Describe yourself:
Shiver

How do you feel about yourself:
We Never Change

Describe where you currently live:
Cemeteries Of London

If you could go anywhere, where would you go:

Violet Hill

Your favorite form of transportation:
Parachutes

Your best friend is:
Death and All His Friends

Your favorite color is:
Yellow

What's the weather like:
Sparks

Favorite time of day:
Till Kingdom Come

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called:
The Escapist

What is life to you:
High Speed

What is the best advice you have to give:
A Message

If you could change your name, what would it be:
X & Y

Your favorite food is:
Strawberry Swing

Thought for the Day:
How You See The World

How I would like to die:
Swallowed In The Sea

My soul's present condition:
Low

My motto:
Everyhtin's Not Lost

20.06.2009 :)

20.06.2009 is important for many reasons~

1. It is the day i graduate from KYUEM. 2 years of living in that jungle. I am certain that i will not miss the campus but i most certainly will miss the people in it, my room with the window where a lot of people will drop by to say hi and my darling indie.

2. I am no longer under probation!!! my P license expires today. woot woot.

3. It is also the day i nearly got caught by the guard for breaking into the pool at 4am ;). ade ke pak cik tu jerit 'tunggu'. Obviously kitorang pecut makin laju. Kasihan aak terjatuh dalam longkang. Oh, thanks to muzhir and ali for helping us panjat the tembok and to nel2, faris and aizat for guarding the area.

4. Its the day aak won scholar of the year. And aak being aak told us girls and everyone else ' i dont deserve this'. bla la aak, you know ur multi talented. no matter how many times we tell you, you masih tak percaye.

can't wait til tuesday when i get to see the girls again :)

oh, and i've told man2 that i used to have a crush on him. well, i have nothing to loose. i'm not expecting anything.

well, my first post as a college graduate ;)

CHEERS~

mastercard add~

PROM EXPENSES

dress - RM x00

shoes - RM x00

ticket - RM x00

accessories - RM x0

fuel and parking tickets - RM x0

hufss and puffss to keep myself awake - RM x0

grooming - RMx0

Total - RM x000 :( waa, pokai, pokai.

but

5 days of non stop shopping and to share that experience with my dearest girls (you know who you are) - priceless :)

magic~

it was suppose to be a happy day!

- out with girl friends

-prom shopping

-car with unlimited petrol

-a touch n go card with enough cash to reach perlis

tapi........

penat!!!!

fucking biological clock

i dah habis exam, tidur lah!!!!

lepas tu

-phone rosak

-bank account dah empty

tapi.....

- seeing ara and we had our magic puff & perasaan penat pun hilang :)

mmg mengarut. tapi rase  cam nak tulis~

and oh, i'm in love with Sondre Lerche

he is HOT HOT HOT~

i nak duit yang banyak

i nak 3A

i nak fly

i nak tidur

i nak sondre lerche~

Syukur

Although initially i had doubts on whether or not i should come home this weekend, i'm really glad i did.

1. I found my prom dress and heels in 2 hours!!!! now, that is a record. thanks kak millie for accompanying me and helping me while i struggled with the zips ;)

2. Daddy agreed to pay for my prom dress, without even asking for a cost-benefit analysis first.

3. I beat kak millie in mario kart. woo hoo~ tapi sekali je la. u still rule, princess.

4. And most importantly, mom told me that daddy got me a DSLR!!!!!!! :). its arriving on tuesday. its suppose to be a suprise, kinda like a graduation present. i have no idea which model daddy got me but since he plans to bring it to china and take the pics of the eclipse to test it, it must be at least a D-90 . even if its a d-40 pun i tak kisah. its mine!!!!!!!!!!!!!i am over the moon!!!

I am really thankful, Alhamdulillah. I really hope Allah continues to bless me and hopefully I will get my 3 As. Mom and dad, i will try my best to make you proud. I can never thank you enough.

current tune: candles-hey monday

indieku sudah dewasa.

this morning started with a bang!!!

7.30 am

wai shan: nazu, i'm not sure but i thing indie is banging cruella. tapi tak sure sebab i tak pakai glasses

me: huh? dekat mane?

wai shan: depan chalet farah.

*shan, jeannie and i pun mengintai from our door*

there he was, our little indie was doing IT. haha.

i was relieved!! firstly, it this proves that
1. indie is not gay. for the pass few months, indie asyik hang ot with this other male cat and they keep sniffing for each other. for a moment i thought i kene what i call the 'legally blond curse'. remember in legally blond 2, resse witherspoon's dog bacame gay. haha
2.indie is now an adult!!! although indie is now one years old, his still looks like a kitten. nak cakap tak cukup makan, terlebih makan. perhaps he is just a erm petite.

tapi indie sekarang dah tak manje. when i cuddle him, he rebels. :(. he only finds me when he wants food. well, perhaps this estrangement will make saying good bye easier.

i know you will not be reading this but i love u indie.

aimi, take note. i entrust u to look after indie when i'm gone ;)

current tune: the chronicles of life and death- good chorlotte

Check list

*Reply to UCAS [/]
*Apply accommodation with mimiko [/]
*Write an essay on the origins of the cold war [/]
*Write essays for topics other than the origins of the cold war [ erm, getting there ]
*Finalise the sabah trip [cancelled, so sorry girls. my dad is really worried abt the H1N1]
*An escort for prom [/]
*A dress for prom [belum lagi]
*Money to buy a dress and shoes for prom [:(, i'm broke]
*A place to crash after prom [/]
*Friends who are super supportive and understanding [/]
*Watch gossip girl, 90210 and one tree hill [masih belum habis dl :(]


and yang paling penting

*Get 3 As [ InsyaAllah]

current tune: hanya satu-mocca

here by me my friends~

This post is dedicated to Aainaa Kamila, Attiyaa, Syamim Nabihah and Shahidah Deen :)

You girls are the greatest friends, ever (okay, i sound like a blond la pulak). ;)

I was really touched yesterday when you girls were willing to abandon our Sabah trip if daddy tak bagi green light. Quote att "Kitorang tak kesah pun pergi mane2, asalkan we go together" :). Quote mim "Penang pun tak ape"

I am truely and deeply touched.

Its such a bummer that we will be going to different universities. tapi tak jugak. If everything goes as planned, mim and i will be in notts, dida,att and aak in london which is only 2 hrs away :)

whatever it is, i pray that all of us will ace our A-levels so that kite semue dapat 'fly'. Amin.

I hope you’re doing fine out there without me
‘Cause I’m not doing so good without you
The things I thought you’d never know about me
Were the things I guess you always understood

And everything I have in this world
And all that I’ll ever be
It could all fall down around me.
Just as long as I have you,
Right here by me.

kamilku,att,mimiko and shadidadidu- thank you for putting up with my clumsyness,lazyness,crazyness and all of my other weaknesses :)

hurdles!!!!

these are a few issues currently bugging me right now.

1. EXAMS!!! clearly taking 3 subjects is not easy as it sounds. to future a-level students, never ever combine 3 traditional subjects (e.g my current combination is History, English Literature and Economics). always take one non traditional one i.e sociology, law and psychology. if your college does not offer non traditional college (like KYUEM), i strongly advise you to transfer to another college. its true that universities prefer traditional subjects over non traditional ones but a combination would be fine.

2. BNM tercinta - i cannot make any progress with my university application because my beloved sponsor has not approved my university preference. not only all the good accomodation has been taken (thanks neo and sha2 for warning me), atm, all universities has the right to tarik balik their offer. wahai bnm, tidak cukupkah the lenghthy e-mail i sent u regarding the LNAT exams and the ridiculous and not to forget, late offer that i received from King's College. the only reason why i have not exploded is because i know mom & dad has retired and it would not be fair for me to drain their retirement funds to pay for my education. haih.

3. ironically, the third issue is my parents. i cant remember the last time i had a proper and civilised conversation with mom. they keep asking me to focus on my studies and push the unversity issue asside. dah berape kali nazu nak explain, there are datelines!!!! and regarding the sabah trip, daddy is reluctant to say yes because he does not consider backpacking and bouncing around sabah as a holiday. of all people daddy, you should understand the feeling of bliss and being at one with nature. you were the one who brought me camping when i was still in diapers and over the years we've supported u with ur hobbies from camping to birding to stargazing. not to forget all those times i 'volunteered' to participate in the anak yatim n orang asli activities. abang dapat pergi us after his IB, millie has been to medan and langkawi numerous times with yuya and all. nadi, well, nadi is nadi. why can't u let me go??????

ape2 je lah. i leave it to Allah. i am doing my best to remain calm and collected and stay focused in getting my 3 As. amin.

review- when did you last see your father.

being a future film maker, tiger's external is the best source of great movies. i have to admit that the latest movie yang i curi from tiger is the best, to date. its not an action movie, not a hollywood production either. it a british movie entitled when did you last see your father.

if this movie was a book, i would have cried reading it. it is extremely awesome. the director is brilliant.

setting-the viewers can tell that the movie is set during the 60's and 70's from the costumes and such without the director including one of those weird writings of 1962 or anything like that. most importantly, with the main character ( i think his name was blake) constantly listening to updates of the cuban missile crisis on the radio, viewers would know that it was 1962. most importantly, the world was on the brink of getting involved in a nuclear war, hence,it explains the atmosphere of darkness and uncertainty which constantly surrounds the characters.

cinematography- i noticed that the director used a lot of mirrors duringt important scene. and i think he/she also used a 50mm ( i think that is what it's called) lense to enhance the focus to direct the viewers. he/she is a genious. esp the miror effect. although viewers are constantly informed abt the main character's opinion on the events in the movie, the mirros allows viewers to feel like they are also observing the event and this encourages the viewers to come up with their own analysis of it.

the plotting- its the standard exposition, climax and anti climax but without a resolution. viewers are not informed if the main character's questions are answered in the end.

oh, btw, its a story abt the relationship between a father and his son. which makes it even more special. sorry mom, but i think a mother's love is overrated!!! i mean, i think both parents are able to love their children equally.

so yes. do watch this movie.

dreams~

once upon a time, hafiedz told me that in order to achieve my dreams, i have to actually picture myself achieving it. okay, that is obviously not hafiedz's exact words but i hope i've made my point.

anyhow, since i've been excessively panicking lately, i thought i should take a few moments and put my thoughts into writing to help me visualise the future me achieving my dreams.

i can see myself

1. in my room, reading my history notes, memorising quotes from shakespeare's king lear and memorising economic theories.

2. praying on time and performing solat dhuha and solat hajat on a daily basis.

3.diligently writing at least an essay each for literature and history every week until the exams are over.

4.entering the exam hall, confident that i can answer the questions. bring it on examiners!!

5.scoring 3 A's and puase for a week before i leave for UK.

6.with my closest friends and family during my kenduri doa selamat and kesyukuran, thanking Allah for blessing me and pray that i will stay on track.

7. entering the en-suite room which i will share with my dearest mimiko in nottingham.

8. celebrating raya 2009 with my new circle of friends in the uk. if i'm lucky i get to celebrate with abang.

okay, i should stop here. but these are events which i really wish would happen for the next few months.

amin~

all because of an slr

ever since i laid my hands on daddy's d 300 some time ago, i fell in love with it. i know i have not fully understood the language of slr (all i do is adjust the iso and the focus range anyway), but i know its something i would like to do, and learn. i've been begging daddy for an slr for quite some time now. last week during daddy's birthday, kak millie and i argued abt it. this is a erm summary of our argument.

daddy is getting a d3X for himself. according to the review, nikon claims that it is their best camera to date.

daddy is going to hand down his d300 to millie.

millie has to give her d200 to me.

or daddy will sell off the d200 and get 3 d90's for abang, nadi and i.

daddy also plans to split up the lenses to all 4 of us. everyone will get an equal share.

issue(s)

1. milie thinks that i dont deserve an slr especially her d200 or even a d90 because she thinks i dont have any talent and that even her friends in college is only using a d40.

my rebuttal- i can learn, i believe i have the patience and that i am a fast learner. and besides, ur first slr was a d100. why didn't u use a d40?

her reply- nope you're not. you've played the guitar for over a year and the sound is deafening.

2. millie claims that her d200 is her bread and butter. her life.

my rebuttal- you had no objections when daddy decided to give ur d100 to hanif and gave u his d200 when he bought a d300. what is so different abt this time??

3. millie also claims that photography is her thing. she did not gedik2 nak beli guitar when nadi, abang and i sibuk2 nak main.

my rebuttal-I am not trying to earn a living through photograhy. besides, the main reason i bought rory is not because abang and kak nadi bought a guitar. i've always wanted to learn how to play and i needed something to distract myself from the break up. besides, i bought it with my own money.
u did something similar when u broke up with steve. you picked up a new hobby too. only that my new hobby creates noise pollution and yours increases the chances of getting cancer.

i'm done. i decided not to tell mom and dad. its hard enough growing up with dad always not acknowleding my presence and achievements. isn't it good enough that he is not paying for my education and because of that u can do ur curtin degree.

i did not tell my parents about this. i dont see the point. if i tell them, i know that daddy would change his mind. i will not let ur issues stand in my way of getting an slr. if daddy thinks that i deserve an slr, then i shal get one.

the VIRGIN guitarist~

something happened last week which was in a way a rite of passage for me. i performed, live, on stage for the first time!!! too bad i left rory at home but bob's guitars are fab!!

it was such an honour to perform with such talented people. we performed 4 songs. starting with kau ilhamku and teardrops on my guitar and folowed by always be my baby and hot n cold.

fatin (drums) is an accomplished musician. she plays the piano, guitars and drums and she has performed several times in college.

nea reima mariana (bass) got an A1 for music at SPM level. enough said. although she had some probs with the amp that night, she still rocks!!

jeannie (vocals) is our diva!!!! she sounds like an angel when she sings :)

fiera (vocals) suprised us that night. she was a natural on stage.

aak (keyboard) sadly tak dapat main that night cuz she went out. but we had fun jamming.

performing with the band was an eye opener for me. i always thought that i suck when it comes to team-work and coperation. i mean, in debating i wld get pissed off if one of my team mates screwed up. plus we were not only compeating against the opposition but also among ourselves to get the best speaker title.

in a band, everyone is equally important. if i screw up a chord, i have atin n nea to back me up. if the vocalist termasuk bridge terlalu awal, we just play along. there was no pressure at all.

and the best part is.i nyanyi tak sedap pun, ppl layan je. haha

it was a splendid symphony

p/s: thanks to nea n atin for ajaking me to join the band. to bob for lending me his guitars (sory the tali terputus), to zaim for tuning bob's guitars for me. to jeshua, my guitar guru. to jeannie for believing in me. to bank negara for 'paying' for my guitar. sha n juls for recording the performances and to everyone else who came that night.

daddy turns.... erm...

happy birthday daddy!!!

erm, i feel bad that i dont know how old you are. i'm guessing that you are 57 this year. maybe older or younger.

anyway, enjoy your retirement :)

i love you :)

p/s: if ur planning on getting ur self a new dslr or a macro lens, i dont mind inheriting ur old one, esp ur d-300 ;)

sweet dreams?

last night i had a really weird dream. there was definitely nothing sweet abt it. i woke up feeling tired and confused which made me think, when was the last time i experienced a sweet dream?

well, i can only recall one dream of mine which at that time i thought it was sweet. i dreamt abt aidil and me at the beach with a little girl which we called Suri. given that aidil and i are no longer together, so i guess the dream is not sweet anymore.

anyhow, it made me wonder abt the function of dreams. i mean what is the point of dreaming abt something but most of the time, they never come true. for example, i dreamt of going to kcl, of actively being involved in debate in college and many other things but none of them came true.

a few weeks ago, i reached a really low pont in my life where i fet like giving up. judging from my performance during the trial exam, i am definitely not ready to sit for my a-level exams. plus the thought of not going to king's further dragged me down.

but that was a few weeks ago. i feel much better now. it was not a sweet dream that helped me to bounce back. its reality.

attending nottingham's law school thingy last week was a really meaningful experience. how the allumni's described their life in nottingham makes me really feel like nottingham is the place for me. also, knowing that i will have mim by my side really lifted up my spirits!!!! now, i really feel that i have something to look forward to.

so yeah.

i know i'm crapping away. haha

ape2 je lah.

current tune: when u are near- carolina liar :)

ant attack!!!!!!

since last week, the college hired some dudes who are clearly some 'buruh' yang dari mane entah diorang kutip to cut the trees. their justification for cutting the trees "ade banyak burung lately. kene potong pokok sebab takut burung tu bawa penyakit".

wtf?? hello, those are migration birds. so, they wont be around for a long time. besides, there are soooooooo many trees outside of the college. so, cuting the trees wont solve the problem!!! mengong!

negative effects of cutting the trees.

1. our chalets jadi super hot weiyh. dah la they only provide one aircond!!
2. the kerengge now masuk our chalets cuz they've lost their natural habitat. if u still wanna cut the trees, at least get professionals to do it la. ni some random dudes that can operate a chainsaw. aren't they supposed to like tuang some chemicals first to kill off all the ants and whatever insects yang ade on that tree
3. the noise!!! they know its our study leave period. lagi nak potong mase kitorang tgh belajar
4. diriku yang membazir mase dengan menghantar post ini kerane berase sangat marah setelah menghabiskan satu jam untuk membunuh kebanyakan kerengge yang telah masuk kedalam chalet and worse in my room. argh!!!!!!!
5. and worse, i am now an ant killer!!!!!

so yeah. listening to priscilla ahn to calm myself down. sigh.

tmrw trials starts. history. haih.

this post is full of negative vibe. so yeah~

ape2 je la. gotta get back to studying, or not i cant go to the Warwick thingy this evening. free food at pj hilton and a chance to see leng chais. ah, that is a good thought ;)

and tmrw pergi mandarin oriental pula for notts :D

toodles~

friggin bus

a few days ago.

mommeh: nazu, chah sampai at 4 am on sunday. nazu ambil eh

the 'trying to become anak mithali' me : okay mom

D' day (same hari ngan the end of my easter break la pulak kan)

1.00 am

sedang bertungkus lumus menyiapkan essay King Lear

2.30am

esay berjaya disiapkan dan telah di hantar ke Ms Castaldo

3.30am

kejut mommeh

4.30am

me: chah kat mane

chah: baru sampai bentong

 *sigh*

4.45am

bermanje2 ngan kak millie. tgk ever after. fantastic movie yo

5.45am

bertolak ke stesen bus dekat seseri. ape entah name die

6.15am

berjaya sampai di rumah tapi gagal nak reverse the car in. haha. belum tidur kot

6.18am

contemplating nak tido ke tak? haih~ friggin bus.  stop lame  kenape? kan dah lewat selame satu jan empat puluh minit. i could have slept!!!!!

so yeah, chah was my roommate mase form 5. one of the smartest person that i've met my entire life (budget cam dah hidup lame). i remember one day when i came back our room and she was devastated. i thought something bad happenend to her. rupe2 nye, she got 98 for her japanese test. haha. but one thing that i will always remember abt her is how she introduces me to others during one of our official visiting sessions. here is how it goes.

chah: hello, i am shahylah. this is nazurah, my secretary.

haha. that's her. always finding a way to make jokes. hello, i am the secretary but you are my assistant. haha. 

okay, obviously i did not give much thougt before writing this post.hence, the reason why sedang meleret2.

anyhow, the reason chah and her family is occupying the ground floor of my parents' house for the next 48 hours is because she is leaving to Japan, to study enginnering. (no wonder die menangis when she scored 98) ;)

too bad i cant join her at the air port tmrw. sorry chah. salahkan jpa for issuing the ticket lambat.

anyway, i wish you all the best.

 

pretend tourists :)

today i went out with kamilku, shahir, oggy and faris. 

3.00 pm

3 cars arrived at the head quarters a.k.a aak's house. we decided to take aak's benz. awesome vehicle with an awesome driver. :)

we pushed off to putrajaya

4.00 pm

arrived at precint two. much to our dissapointment, the hot air balloons had been deflated. instead, we saw some dudes flying something. cant remember what it is called

4.30pm

arrived at taman botani. rented 3 bicycles and a tandem. the tandem gave us so much probs!!! rantai cabut la, buat bunyi pelik la. haha. but aak and i had so much fun!! and the guys too. penat gler kot. 

7.00pm

arrived at alamanda. had dinner

9.00pm

aak demostrated her superb driving skills. we arrived in pyramid in 20 mins yo!!

9.30pm

got a parking space. got our movie tixs. watched the international. good movie :). totally worth the rush.

11.45pm

back at head quarters. drove back alone at night for the first time!! cuak gler. thanks to shahir n faris for showing me the way.

12.30am

back in damansara heights. ade stray dogs la pulak depan rumah. haih. another battle la kan.

all in all, i had fun today. tried something new, learnt new roads tapi macam tak cukup satisfied. maybe because i'm not so close to the guys or maybe because i felt bad for ditching icad. sorry icad. tak sempat la nak sampai. kite gi rasta lain hari ya.

cheers~